How sad, today I had my 16th and last Drama Class. We agreed on continuing together next year, but it's so far away still...

"Farewell this blackened eye, you learned your lessons falling down, far behind, and tracing footsteps home...

Despite your lack of pride, you wore your imperfections well.. dignified.. spend your time alone...

Trace your footsteps home..

Your hands are always reaching out of favour
Your kind are only good for bad behaviour
Your mouth was never one to trust, you're always speaking out!
Falling far behind, falling out of line...

Farewell this bitter tongue, you spoke your lessons falling down, talking out, and breaking silence...

Despite the harm you've done, you swallowed your rejections well, amplified.. sing your song alone...

Trace your footsteps home..

Your hands are always reaching out of favour
Your kind are only good for bad behaviour
Your mouth was never one to trust, you're always speaking out!
Falling far behind, falling.."

Today I wrote a letter to myself.

I'm really depressed...

I'm fed up, of always being the one who sacrifices for the rest; I'm always forced to plan for the rest, to organise everything, to be nice, to be diplomatic... People don't make plans for me, don't organise, they are not nice to me, they are not diplomatic... so why must I be like this..?

Hmmm... I want to be alone. I mean, it's all almost over with Blair, and I don't have someone else I think I'll be with. Actually, I don't have someone else with whom I think there might be something...
And in the blur of the moment, as everyone seemed to be as down as me, things changed. Everyone I know is happy and content and pleased with everything... I'm fucking not. It's not fair... I try so hard, and I get nothing...

Amanda didn't reply my mail, she had her month-niversary (or however it's called in english...) and she's happy and way over me. My internet friends are off, as well as my real friends and acquaintances (they came over for the afternoon).

I'm so sad...

Okay, I had bought this really gorgeous book with Edgar Allan Poe's complete works for my ex, and on sunday I found it, cheaper, and I really want it. And I saw a similar book with William Shakespeare's!

I want them! =(

Dear Mr Ball,

I love you, but I can't help you. You're alone, you're lovelessly abandoned and no one cares about you. It pains me so much to even think of your situation, but it's not that I haven't done my best... I'm really sorry...

Mhhhh...