I always found her interesting, since we met back then, in march of last year, in our course. And I also thought she was really pretty. Of course, at the time I was still "in between" with Amanda (our relationship had died in january and we were trying to make it work again) and didn't notice her much. But I always liked some things about her - her responsability, her smile, the way she talked, her hair and her eyes, and talking to her while the class hadn't started.

During the year, I tried to approach to her, just as friends, she seemed a nice person - and she was, although she also seemed to resent my level and she mistreated or ignored me at times. But by november, I was actively trying to approach to her, and tried to talk to her but she had a wall between her person and me. By december, I started thinking about her in a more-than-friendly way.

And once we both went away for our holidays (to the same place) I really couldn't stop myself from thinking about her... and then, from feeling about her. I guess it was something gradual, natural and subtle all along. Now, I can't even focus on my assignments! And I think I regret accepting my mother's invitation to Spain. It will be a great trip (just 10 days) but suddenly 10 days seem like an awful amount of days, to be apart from her. I want to tell her in person some of the thing I told to her last night, things I had started telling her last wednesday.

I want her to know, that I think I'm falling completely, utterly and unconditionally in love with her, and that I want to be with her and never leave her. I want to tell her that her beauty is only paled by her sweetness and caring nature, and I never felt like this, not with Amanda. I will never forget her, and a part of me will always, always love her and miss her, but I never thought I would find someone else that would totally eclipse her... I used to tell Amanda she was my moon and my stars and my sky. Maybe she'll always be, but Gabriela is my sun and my light, and that's stronger.

Tiefe Brunen muss man graben
Wenn man klares Wasser will
Rosenrot, oh, Rosenrot
Tiefe Wasster sind nicht still...

Yesterday, I met Gaby at the Facultad de Derecho (the Law University of Buenos Aires) at 3.30pm. She looked pretty, with a black sleeve-less shirt and a colourful skirt. She gave me a tour around her university. It's a wonderful building, it's fully-equipped and aesthetically perfekt.
We then sat in an empty class for a couple of hours, just talking, and slowly, shyly, once again drawing together like that other time in the park. But we went for further explorations of the faculty and then found an empty class on the top floor, and we sat by a window. We were sitting really close to each other.
And I told her that I liked her, so much. And that I felt for her since before we both returned from our Pinamar/Carilo holidays. I told her how I loved talking with her, and how I waited every day to talk to her and be close to her. And she said she felt the same for me, and that she really liked the way I am, and that she had liked me for a long time. And our roles switched; she became shy for once, and I felt like I knew what I was doing.
And I kissed her. And we kissed, and kissed, for I don't know how long. And we were so.. close. I couldn't stop smiling, and she couldn't either, and we were so red on our faces, and she trembled, and our hearts beat fast, as one. And then, some class was about to start so we were kicked out of the room =$
So I walked her to the bus stop and went with her to her place, made sure she arrived safely and went back home. And since then (some 21-22 hours ago) I can't stop thinking about her at all. I mean, I thought a lot about her before, but right now, I can only think of her! And I want to see her, I hope she'll come over tomorrow for the meeting/party/whatever-th ing I 've organised here in my place. I don't even care if my silly friends show up, or my other friends, or if people bore at the party or if the place burns down. I just want to hold her.

First of all, I hope you all guys had a great time this weekend and especially today (although Easter ended like 2 hours ago..!)

I'm back from my short three-day holidays with the family. I fell way behind with my assignments and readings for the university, so I guess it will be a no-sleeping week for the most part =/
I've got no news from her since saturday (we chatted a bit over our cells) and it's kinda strange that I'm actually missing her. I mean, we're just friends.. yet. And maybe next time we see each other we won't be friends anymore, maybe we'll be something more. I really look forward to that.

I've been thinking a lot during this trip (I had to, as I spent most of it on the back of a car staring through the windows) and I really hope I can get over Amanda once and for all. It's not like I'll stop loving her -I know I never will- but at least, I want to replace that "spot" in me with someone I care about and who really cares about me, and I feel Gaby might be the one... I think I could fall in love with her, and it's been a long time since I had these nice feelings, not even with Blair I had this sensation, as if the sun was right about to rise beneath the eternal clouds...

I'm off to bed =]

She's gone for a week.

I brought back the rain.

Mhhh no sé, pero tengo un poquito de miedo. No sé, pero tengo un poco de miedo porque odio no saber. No me gusta no saber si ella está pasando por lo mismo que yo estoy pasando. Me parece que sí, pero no lo sé, espero y quiero creer que sí..!

Mi msn empezó a malfunctionar otra vez, y eso arruina charlas que podrían ser más que perfectas (por su culpa, son sólo perfectas =] haha)

Bueno, me voy de acá. El visitcounter está jammed it seems =/

This is a song I love by a group from here (Argentina) called Miranda!, and I translated it to English to see how it looked...

How foolish I was, how late I realised
how could you lie to me, how could i believe you?
It seems to be easy for you
doing to anyone what you did to me
You made me believe you'd love me so much
that you'd adore me, and now you're gone
You'll want to talk, you'll apologise
You'll cry a bit and then you will leave..
(I will say no to this,
don't you apologise
Can't you see it's humiliating
how you beg on your knees, purr-lease!)
I understand your game,
to lie under your veil
provokes an ambiguous feeling in me
Do me a favour now,
if it's not true then don't cry
at least have some honesty in the end!
If you're serious about this
I'd rather you made haste,
let's agree on not seeing each other, but now!
I cannot stand this
you're finally leaving me
I'd like to leave before I start to cry..
Talking like this hurts me so much
I look at us from outside, I can't believe it
And while we both say more than we should
I start to forget you, and start to think
how sad it all looks, how dishonest and cheap
that you'll play martyr, that you wanna talk
that in truth, it's not that you don't love me!
but the lies are way heavier than you..
I understand your game,
to lie under your veil
provokes an ambiguous feeling in me
Do me a favour now,
if it's not true then don't cry
at least have some honesty in the end!
If you're serious about this
I'd rather you made haste,
let's agree on not seeing each other, but now!
I cannot stand this
you're finally leaving me
I'd like to leave before I start to cry..
Purr-lease, I should have known
Late night when you called I knew you'd leave me today
But -no!- no it's not the first time today,
it's been a while since I've been expecting this day to come
You know what? I won't let you go,
I won't let things be so easy for you, oh no!
I'll try to kiss you before you leave,
touching your hair and drawing you towards me
I understand your game,
to lie under your veil
provokes an ambiguous feeling in me
Do me a favour now,
if it's not true then don't cry
at least have some honesty in the end!
If you're serious about this
I'd rather you made haste,
let's agree on not seeing each other, but now!
I cannot stand this
you're finally leaving me
I'd like to leave before I start to cry..

Gabrielle, my belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble

(Not sure if my French's correct, but I don't care ^^)

Okay, it's saturday, 6am but I want to write about the previous day. It was a really nice day. I went to classes in the morning, nothing important. But the good part is that I went out with Gaby in the afternoon. I had a great time with her, and she said she had a great time with me too. I'm kind of shy, and all the crap I've been through has made me really insecure about what to do next, but I'll ask her out again, and just do the straightforward thing (although in some cases, it might be a mistake..) of telling her that I like her. I know I like her, and I know she likes me, and she knows that I know and all those "I know she knows I know" etc, you get the idea.

I'm kind of happy. I'll make the rain stop for a couple of days, people are complaining to me about it already. I guess I could make the clouds disappear for a couple of days, and go out with her, and I honestly hope things will work out for her and for me too.

I'm sharing some of my classes with this girl who was a really close friend, once. She's totally ignoring me, and I understand it (yes, right now my self-esteem is even lower than my security..) but it would be nice to really know how it all happened. Was it because of her jealous bf at the time? Or my jealous gf? Or because I kind of distanced myself, or the fact that we didn't share any classes anymore? Or because of my so-called enemies..?

Yesterday I ran onto another old friend. Bah, she wasn't a friend, she was an acquaintance, but still, we sat together for almost a year, back in school, and we used to talk. She totally ignored me too, and I ignored her.

And this could go on and on. I guess relationships die and you can't help it. Not unless you're willing to sacrifice a lot. And for some friends, I've sacrificed a lot! And still, it didn't work for me... everyone I know goes away in the end...

I'm in a foul mood.

But tomorrow, I'm going out with someone I like...